J: I want you to do an interview for me. My readers want to know about your past.
BS: What past?
J: You have more than one sordid past?
BS: Nope and my past is not sordid.
J: Ok. Whatever. So tell me about THAT day.
BS: Which day? Please explain. You want to know about the first day my M brought me to the beauty palour and pamper moi? Or the good ole days before your arrival? Or the first day I set my eyes on my M? What about the first day I found out about how human food taste so much better than that swill the maid cooks? Its so weird. She cooks for the humans and she cooks for me. Why does the two taste so different? You know....
J: Stop! Stop! We are not interested in all that. By the way, what do you mean swill? That food taste fine to me. Not as nice as the human food obviously but good enough for me.....Grrrgh. We want to know about the day betray your M and don't change the topic again.
BS: Ooooh....that day! Its not betrayal stupid! It was the greatest love of the century, of all doggy kingdom, of all universe. Do you think someone will make a film out of my love story?
J: *Snort* No. Now get to the story
BS: If nobody is making a film out of this and casting me as the lead, I am not telling my story.
J: Ok then. Someone will make a movie out of this and cast you as the lead
BS: Yay! Me movie star! Ok. What do you want to know?
J: *Muahahahahahahahaha. So easily tricked. Bimbo* Yes. Tell us how it all started.
BS: Well, it was a beautiful day and I was sleeping having my beauty rejuvenated in the living room as usual. Suddenly, I heard a loud clang and my rejuvenation was interrupted. I am a good girl and I remember grandmama telling me that I have to be a good guard dog so I jumped out of bed and went barking out of the house because I is good guard dog.
J: *Mentally to self: More like stupid. You bark when our Ms come home too* Yes. You is good guard dog. So much better than me. So, what happen then?
BS: I went barking fiercely to the front gate. You want me to demonstrate how I ran gracefully while barking?
J: No.
BS: Why? How would the film crew know which is the best angle to shoot then? I don't want to do this interview anymore because..
J: No. No. What I mean to say is you don't want to show everyone how you ran gracefully *puke* so soon right? They will be so used to it that it is no longer a novelty anymore.
BS: Novelty? You call my running a novelty? I don't want to .....
J: No. No. NO. You never let me finish. A magnificent actress never let her audience see her acting until the debut of the film. You cannot spoil the magical moment for your fans.
BS: Really?
J: Yes. Absolutely absolutely sure.
BS: Ok.
J: Now back to the story. You ran to the gate...
BS: Yes I ran gracefully to the gate and I couldn't believe my love doe-like gorgeous eyes (J: *puke*). The gate is open. Wide open! Like it was welcoming me with open arms. I looked backward. Nobody came out to praise me like they usually do. I hesitate and elegantly turn my head. Make sure they film me turning my head elegantly ok! It is important (J: O.O? Elegant? You?) So then, I took my first tentative steps out of the gate.
J: Mmmm k *fiercely scribbling in notepad* Was the smell of freedom intoxicating?
BS: Intoxicating? You mean the smell of petroleum fumes? Mmmm yes I absolutely love that smell. (J: No wonder you are stupid. Its all the fumes you smell) It reminds of the times when my M takes me out on a drive and I would always stick my pwetti head out just in case some other dogs want to admire me (J: *puke*) A lot of dogs admire me you know because...
J: Yes because you are white and dainty and pwetti *Rolls eyes mentally*
BS: Yeah and because my aunt G powders me every time I have my beauty bath and also...
J: Oh. One question. You said you smelt petroleum fumes that day. Did you smell anything else that day?
BS: Now that you mention it. I did, in fact. I thought I smelt my M. Yes. That's why I went out of the gate that day. It was all because of my M.
J: Ok. *Scribbles " So.....my MM smells like a dog?"*
BS: But.....when I went out, I didn't see my M at all! And then....and then.....I saw him...this tall dark strong hamsem hunk. He told me he was a newcomer to our parts of the world. He also said he came from a faraway place call Germany. Do you know where that is?? Is it like near where you used to live? That's very far away too right? So, he said that he was very lonely because you know, he is new here and he has no friends. So...so I said I can be his friend because I think having no friends is very sad and he has this sad puppy eyes too (J: Bitches. So naive. Tsk tsk). I don't usually make friends but you know, for him I can make it an exception because he live so far away. So...so anyway we became friends and then he said I was the pwettiest little thing he has ever seen hehehehehe. Then he ask if he can kiss me hehehehe. So I said yes hehehehehehe. So then he kissed me hehehehehehe. And then I almost fainted hehehehehe because it was so sweet hehehehehe.
J: Errr why do you keep giggling? What is so funny? Are you sick?
BS: Hehehehehe no. *Sigh* hehehehehehe. *hides face in paws*
J: Errr *backing away* ok. So then what happened next?
BS: Hehehehehe so then I told him he is very sweet and so hamsem hehehehehe. *Sighs* Then he ask if I want to make babies with him hehehehehehe. So romantic you know. Asking a girl such a question. So I didn't reply him hehehehehehe but I hide my face with my paws and peeked at him and then I nod my head hehehehehe. So then you know we decided to make babies because I don't know when I will ever see him again. I said we should do it soon before anyone stops us. I think our babies would have been really cute hehehehehe. Right? Right? Right?
J: Errrrr right.
BS: *Sighs* And so we decided to not waste time and make babies straightway. And then we almost got away with it but then Grandma came out of the house and saw us. *Sniff*
(To be continued....)

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